


One With the Force

by VirtualRose



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Everybody Lives, F/M, Force Sensitivity, Jedi Jyn, Lyra Was a Jedi, May include Inquisitors, OG Star Wars characters may show up, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10047215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirtualRose/pseuds/VirtualRose
Summary: She remembered the momentary look of horror on her Mama’s face when she looked up to see the toy’s around her fall from the air. She remembered her Mama kneeling down to hold her, whispering in her ear:“Baby girl, can you do that again for me?” Lyra whispers were soft, trembling in a tone she wouldn’t hear again until she was left behind a hill on Lah’mu and told to run.Follows the canon for the first few chapter then diverges. Except Jyn is a mostly untrained Jedi, and they all live.





	1. Prologue

 

 

Much in the same way her Papa liked to pretend that finding the hidden bunker was a game, Jyn’s Mama had her own pretend game. It had started on Coruscant, not long before they moved to Lah’mu. She remembered the momentary look of horror on her Mama’s face when she looked up to see the toy’s around her fall from the air. 

 

She remembered her Mama kneeling down to hold her, whispering in her ear:

 

“Baby girl, can you do that again for me?” Lyra whispers were soft, trembling in a tone she wouldn’t hear again until she was left behind a hill on Lah’mu and told to run. 

 

Jyn nodded, screwing her eyes shut and lifted a block. It was always harder to do when she was trying. The block wobbled and fell after a moment hanging in the air. Lyra let out a long shaken breath and closed her eyes, holding Jyn tight against her. 

 

When she pulled back from, Jyn could see the tightness around her Mama’s eyes even as she smiled. “Jyn, I need to promise me to never do that again unless I tell you to,” Mama’s eyes were insistent leaving no room for argument. 

 

“Yes, Mama,” she said, unsure and slightly scared.

 

 

 

It was that night, after Papa came home late she woke to her parents talking. Almost arguing, in low hissing voices. She remembered getting up and peering through the crack in her door. 

 

“We need to leave, Galen,” her voice was harsh as Papa shook his head. “Now.” Lyra’s eyes were flinty, worried. Her hands fidgeted at her sides, betraying her nerves. 

 

“Lyra, we already have plans for our escape. In two weeks. After Krennic and I present the update to Tarkin, we can leave. He won’t be in to check on my progress for another month because he’s overseeing another Future program,” his voice was low, willing her to understand. Pleading that she stick to the plan. They had one shot. 

 

One shot with a head start and a plan with many false leads. They had already found a smuggler that would take them to a mid rim planet where they would hop from transport to transport until they made it to Lah’mu. A planet that Galen despised on paper. A planet that Krennic would never guess.

 

She paced the room, going in and out of Jyn’s view through the crack in her door. Her Papa, grabbed her Mama’s shoulders gently and held her still. They looked into each other’s eyes, for a moment before she dropped her head on his shoulder with a heaving sigh that might have been a sob. 

 

“If they find out, they’ll kill her or take her away and turn her,” her hand was fisted in her shirt, at her sternum. “The whole order, Galen. Slaughtered. I...I gave it up. Hid it away.” She heaved her breaths. 

 

“I know,” Galen held her to him. “I know. Two more weeks, Lyra. Two weeks. Than we leave and she’ll be safe. We’ll be safe.” He was so sure. Her Papa was always sure. 

 

With a one last shuddering breath, Lyra nodded. 

“Okay,” eyes had turned hard, determined. “Okay.”

 

For the next two weeks, Jyn stayed home. Lyra claimed her to be ill in bed when asked; but she was really being trained. It was dull training. They would sit in her room cross-legged, Jyn with her eyes closed as her Mama told her to imagine a flower opening and closing with her breath. Instructed to find the Force around her, and to match the ebb and flow with her breathing. They did that for hours until Lyra brought a beautiful flower.

 

“Jyn, I want you to focus on the flower. Imagine it closing and opening with your breath, with the Force.” Lyra shifted behind Jyn, hands on her shoulders. There was a silent moment, the only sound being steady breathing. 

 

Jyn remembered the frustrating feeling of sitting like that for an hour, her Mama not letting her stand and stretch her legs and back.Then the rhythm of her breath shifted slightly, and before them the petals curl in at her inhale and then curl out with her exhale, there was a buzz of excitement that shot through her. A glance behind her revealed her Mama smiling proudly at her and her Papa standing behind them still in his Imperial uniform looking sad for only moment before smiling at her two. 

 

When they reached Lah’mu, Mama and her would play games. Who could hold a sphere of water the longest. Who could stack the highest rock tower. Who could push the plow the farthest. They would also meditate for hours, letting the distant crashing of the waves calm their minds. 

 

There were times when an unexpected traveller would come across their farm and Jyn would watch as her Mama would confuse them, convince them to turn around and forget them when they were previously emphatic about stopping. Or sometimes there was a stubborn farm animal and Mama would look at it, press her hand to it’s side and it would comply. When Jyn asked if she was using the Force, Mama would smile and tell her that she would someday learn that too. 

 

“I know that there are many ways to use the Force that interest you, Stardust, but remember that you must be able to have a firm foundation for you to successfully learn harder things,” her Papa reminded her when she pouted her displeasure. He smiled at her amused with her impatience, he always did love her eagerness to learn.  

 

But she never did learn. The next day an Imperial ship landed on the farm. The Man in White came with is squad of black demons marching step for step behind him, contrasting with the lush green they walked through.

 

Jyn remembered the feeling of her father’s arms around her. The words he spoke in her ear, “ _ Jyn, whatever I do, I do it to protect you. Say you understand."  _

 

She didn’t understand

_ "I understand. _ "

 

She remembered running over the hill with Mama, before stopping. She knew this was wrong, they weren’t supposed to stop until they reached the hidden hatch. But they had stopped. Her Mama was telling her to go by herself, to leave alone. She was scared. The sharp spikes of fear still phantom stab her in her sleep. She remembered her Mama’s worn hands tying the thong of her necklace around her neck, the bone crushing hug that lasted way too short of time. She remembered the last words her Mama would ever direct to her:

 

_ “Trust in the Force.” _

She watched as her Mama was shot, crumpling to the ground. The scream she held built up in her throat as he Papa rushed to Mama, crying out her name. 

 

She ran.

 

She ran to the dark damp bunker, listened to the footsteps of the black wraiths that searched for her. Listened to the storm that crashed through the night. Listened as finally,  _ finally, _ the hinges creaked open and a face peered into the darkness.

 

“Come, child.”

 

It wasn’t Mama. 

 

It wasn’t Papa.

 

Her dark fears were correct. They were _ gone. _

* * *

 

Drip.

 

Drip.

 

Drip.

 

Inside a Wobani cell, Jyn woke.


	2. Chapter 1

**1.**

* * *

 

Running, Jyn knew, would unlikely produce the desired outcome, but she tried anyway. She always tried. In the end, it only resulted in one rebel’s broken nose by her hand, and her momentum halted by an imperial droid lifting her and slamming her into the dirt. She was so dazed all she could do was stare as it spoke to her.

 

“Congratulations. You are being rescued,” it’s voice was dry, even for a droid, sarcastic in a way she was unused to. It stared down at her with glowing glass eyes.

 

With her shackles still in place, she was hauled bodily upright by the same rebel that she smashed a shovel into. He glared at her and shoved her forward into a quick trot as they made their way to a ship that would take them, undoubtedly, somewhere she didn’t want to go. 

 

‘“ _ Rescued,”’  _ she thought bitterly. _ ‘More like going from one imprisonment to another.’ _

 

She went along with the harsh treatment of her person, only because there was nothing else she could do. For the entire trip she imagined how things would have gone if only she could have  _ pushed _ them away. Fantasy was the only connection to the Force she allowed herself anymore. She still meditated, but only as a way to shoehorn control. If anyone found out, or even suspected...well, there are worse things than being on the run or dying in a prison work camp. 

 

_ “Trust the Force,” _ her Mama had said to her many times on the beach of Lah’mu where she taught her to manipulate water, sand, rock; even a brief lesson on extending her jumps to reach the top of the mammoth rocks that dotted the shore. The words once spoken so frequently, were the only words Jyn could still remember her exact voice.  _ “Anything is possible when you trust.” _

 

But the memory of her mother always shifted into one more practical. To a lesson she learned was vital to her survival. 

 

“ _ Keep that damn wizardry to yourself if you know what's good for you!” Saw yelled towering over her as she huddled on the ground cradling her reddening cheek. She had saved him from a blaster shot, jerking it midair to reverse its trajectory onto the Stormtrooper that shot it. The look of shock on the face of the two accompanying Partisans gave her were their final expressions as Saw turned his blaster on them. “If word spreads that I have a Jedi, let alone Jyn Erso, in my company…” He shook his head. The conversation was over. A month later she found herself alone in another bunker. _

 

When they arrived to their base, Jyn was ushered through a bustling hanger. It was humid, and despite the lush greenery around them it smelled like decay. There was some universal irony in that. 

 

They passed people in bright orange flight suits and cargo crates. She absently wondered if she tried, if she could will the Force to allow her to jump to the top ziggurats and run across them, leap into the forest around them and disappear. 

 

Unlikely. They would probably send a search party out for her and relentlessly hunt her down. They’d have done that anyway with the trouble they went through to just get her here. But for a Force user? The Alliance (she had figured out that that was who had abducted her from the prison), were sentimental dreamers that would probably keep her around as some sort of museum piece.

 

The dim room they arrived at seemed to be the center of operations. She was sat in front of a war table and observed the room. It was deceptively small. The clear star map screens create a sort of antechamber in the middle of the room and through them Alliance technicians were visible, speaking lowly over comms. Her observations were cut short by the presence of a woman in sovereign white robes. Her demeanor gave the impression of a gentle leader not often disagreed with. There was also two men. One stood just behind the woman, arms crossed, his face hard in a certain expression of displeasure that Jyn assumed to be his default expression. 

 

The other man stood carefully, casual off to the side. He was dark eyed and scruffy. He was no more than 5 years older than her. Attractive in a way that could either be dismissed or enhanced in the right circumstances. 

 

These were not the right circumstances.

 

Mon Mothma, the woman in white and part of the Alliance council, and the perpetually displeased man listed her crimes; smuggling, forgery, assault, resisting arrest, etc. 

 

It wasn’t until the scruffy man came forward into the better light, did they come to the point.

 

“When was the last time you were in contact with your father?” his tone was conversational, as though the question didn’t just twist her heart and stomach around.

 

“ _ Jyn, whatever I do, I do it to protect you. Say you understand."  _

 

A machine in the back sparked violently. In the short moment the three people turned around to look at the commotion, Jyn took a deep breath, calming the churning feeling of the Force that broiled around her. She hadn’t had an outburst in six years. 

 

When they turned back to her the man looked at her expectantly, his question still paramount in his eyes. 

 

“Fifteen years ago,” she said with gritted teeth.

 

“Any idea where he’s been all that time?” 

 

“I like to think he’s dead. Makes things easier,” she could tell that wasn’t the answer he expected. What kind of person wishes their father dead? It was a question she asked herself. 

 

“Easier than what? That he's being a tool of the Imperial war machine?” His face was carefully blank. She suddenly knew he had to be a spy. No one had a face like that unless they were a Spy.

 

“I've never had the luxury of political opinions,” she said. It was true, in a way. In survival you don’t stick with people who burn you. The rebel’s burned her. The Imperials burned her. Only difference is that the Imperials burned everyone. 

 

“Really?” there was a change in his face. A narrowing of the eyes like that of a zealot being challenged.

 

They questioned her about Saw, and tell her about the imperial pilot sent by her father, defected and carrying important information that he likely carried about a  _ planet killer. _ A monstrosity that her father built.

 

_ “Is that what you abandoned us for?” _

 

It takes effort not to break another machine. 

 

They end up offering her a choice that ends up not being a choice. They hold her freedom hostage, blackmailing her into a mission to find the pilot that is supposed to be with Saw and possibly retrieving her father. She had her doubts on how useful she’d be in getting Cassian Andor-- she learned that that was the scruffy man’s name-- an audience with Saw. The man abandoned her, why would he see her anything other than a hostile encroaching on his territory?

 

 

In the hanger she followed Cassian to a ship only for him to be called out to by the stern General from the interrogation. She went on ahead to the ship, not caring about the discussion or orders the man had for his officer. On the ship, she snagged a blaster from Cassian’s duffle glancing back out the ramp at the pair speaking to each other. 

 

Cassian looked grimmer than before. 

 

“I'm K-2SO. I'm a reprogrammed Imperial droid,” the voice was the same as the sarcastic droid that slammed her into the ground on Waboni. Not exactly a face she welcomed.

 

“I remember you,” she tried to speak impassively. May as well try for civility. 

 

“I see the Council is sending you with us to Jedha.” 

 

“Apparently so.” Was he confirming or was this conversation going somewhere?

 

“That is a bad idea. I think so, and so does Cassian. What do I know? My specialty is just strategic analysis.” 

 

Ah, he was being judgmental. As usual, she was under unwanted scrutiny.

 

Cassian walked onto the ship. Jyn noticed he seemed uneasy. She could feel the Force around him when he walked by. It was heavy, muggy. It felt oppressive.

 

“You met Kay-2?” he said, not letting his uneasiness be present on his face or tone.

 

“Charming,” she said with as much biting sarcasm as she could.

 

“He tends to say whatever comes into his circuits. It's a by-product of the reprogram.” He seemed slightly amused. It was a good look for him.

 

“Why does she get a blaster and I don't?,” Kay-2 said, sucking every little bit of good mood from Cassian. He was suddenly rigid and on guard. The shadows deepened when his head tilted down looking at her person

 

“What.” The word came out harsh and angered.

 

“I know how to use it.” Course she did. Just as she knew he knew and just as she knew that her proficiency isn’t the concern. Her chin was tilted up, a pride that she didn’t know she still had welled up. She wanted to dare him to take it from her.

 

“That's what I'm afraid of. Give it to me.” He didn’t care for her pride or her challenge.

 

“We're going to Jedha. That's a war zone.” It was valid point. She knew it, he knew it. But he was used to control.

 

“That's not the point. Where did you get it?” 

 

“ I found it.” She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of more than that. Let him be frustrated. Let him feel out of control for once. It was a small and petty revenge for her having her whole life out of her control. 

 

“I find that answer vague and unconvincing,” chimed Kay-2. 

 

Neither paid him any mind. They glared at each other. Sizing each other up and reading the other. 

 

“Trust goes both ways.”

 

Something changed right then, something intangible. His face didn’t soften, his jaw clenched, but he nodded slightly. Something in his eyes said he understood, agreed, even. There was still reluctance, but he gave in. When he did, the Force around him lightened ever so slightly.

 

He turned and went to the cockpit. She could hear the indistinct conversation of Kay-2 and Cassian.

 

 

_ “Trust…” _

 

Her mother’s voice echoed in her head.


	3. Chapter 2

**2.**

The voyage from Yavin IV to Jedah was uneventful. Punctuated only by the soft vibrations of the ship's hyperdrive and the occasional low murmuring from the cockpit.

 

Despite the unwanted situation and the undesirable company, Jyn relished the few hours of peace. They were few and far between in her life. She had had plenty of quiet. Her cell in Waboni had been quiet, but there had always been a threat. She had to keep her back against the wall and keep one eye open at all times. At least in on this ship she knew that, at least during the transit, no one would harm her. 

 

Part of the time she slept, but she meditated the rest. She had to find her equilibrium. The outburst she had at the base couldn't happen again. Jyn’s main goal is survival. Jedi do not survive. They die. A blaster bolt to the heart. Tortured with their own mortality and inability to save their own family.

 

“Wake up.” Cassian’s hand was still on her shoulder when she blinked her eyes open and stared up at his weary face. 

 

“We’re here.”

 

* * *

 

Jedah was cold. Dry, cold, and bleak. As he zipped his blue parka he couldn't help noticing Jyn’s light jacket and head scarf. It made him worry. Even though he knew he shouldn't. She made no outward show of discomfort, but Cassian knew from personal experience that that didn't mean much.

 

Jedah was packed with merchants, pilgrims, smugglers, Imperials and the poor. He kept close to Jyn, letting her lead, using a hand at her elbow to direct her left or right when needed. He kept his eyes searching the crush of people, he needed to find his informant. 

 

He felt, rather than saw, the hard shove Jyn was dealt in passing a duo of surly aliens. 

 

“Hey, watch yourself!” the creature was looking for a fight and took a threatening step toward Jyn.

 

Heart in his throat, Cassian snagged Jyn’s arm, pulling her closer to him. A brawl here would jeopardize the whole mission. “Tourists, we don’t want any trouble. Sorry,” he excused them from the scene, tugging her along. “Come on,” he whispered into her ear. “Come on.”

 

This time he lead them along speaking lowly as he did so. “I had a contact, one of Saw's rebels, but he's just gone missing.” He couldn’t help the sour taste in the back of his throat at the thought of Trivik. Murdered with a blaster bolt to the side and a practiced lie in his ears not a week before in an alleyway. An act Cassian would do again no matter the personal cost. 

 

“His sister will be looking for him. The temple's been destroyed but she'll be there waiting. We'll give her your name and hope that gets us a meeting with Saw.” The plan was flimsy but he had worked with less. 

 

“Hope?” Jyn spoke the words with incredulous wonder. Her lips parted and eyes wide, green and consuming. In the day he has known her he always found himself at a loss when he looked at her eyes. 

 

“Yeah,” he said. “Rebellions are built on hope,” there was a moment her eyes shifted, as though some resolve was shook. But then it was gone and the look of incredulity was back.

 

Not long after he saw his contact. He left Jyn, promising to be back shortly, acting on some unknown faith that she would still be there when he returned. Maybe the words of faith floating over the throng, being chanted by an unknown holy man affected him without his consent. 

 

No matter the reason, despite the unnerving news the contact had for him, he felt relief wash over him when he returned and Jyn was standing not far off from where he left her. 

 

She looked unsettled as he approached, her hand clutching, knuckles white, at something at her beastbone. The air felt still around them. She had been talking to a Guardian of the Whills  and what appeared to be a mercenary who had been resting under the beige archway of a ruined section of the temple. The mural’s that once covered the walls faded into oblivion, leaving only the idea of beauty behind. 

 

“Jyn. Come on, let’s go,” his urging prompted a start out of her, but failed to pull her from her spot. He needed them to move.

 

“The strongest hearts are made of kyber,” said the monk. He was blind, Cassian finally noticed, not that it mattered at the moment. He needed to move. He needed Jyn to tear her gaze from the duo and follow him. 

 

“Come on!” he spoke harshly. She finally broke away from the two, turning and following him. Her eyes were once again wide. But this time it was closer to fear. Whatever the two spoke to her about needed to be sidelined. 

 

“This town, it’s about to blow,” he spoke urgently. She nodded following him, her expression focusing back onto the matter at hand.

 

The next thing that happened, happened suddenly. An imperial patrol, exploded in the middle of the square.

 

“Looks like we found Saw’s rebels,” said Jyn, almost nonchalantly as they ducked behind a pillar. 

 

The chaos around them was full of screaming civilians, blaster fire, bombs, and the garbled comm’s of the stormtroopers. Stone pillars and archways collapsed into rubble all around, making it treacherous to walk. With blasters drawn, Cassian started to lead Jyn around the firefight, shooting the stray ‘trooper that crossed their path. 

 

They stopped behind cover, looking for their next route when Jyn lept out into the fray, and sprinted right in front of a tank. She ignored him as he shouted her name and scooped up a small screaming child Cassian hadn’t even noticed in the cacophony. She nearly slipped on the rocks as she scrambled to get away from the encroaching machine. 

 

Cassian felt like his heart had stopped as he watched her move. He shot at anything that looked her way. She dropped the child off into the arms of a tear stained mother and started on her way back to him. He breathed, scanning the area. There were too many variables but no one seemed to be aiming for her until he caught sight of a rebel perched up on top of a roof aiming a grenade right where Jyn was crossing. 

 

There was no thought, he just fired. The rebel fell and an explosion shortly followed. When Jyn reached him, he felt his heart beat in the familiar way it usually does during a life or death situation. They ran but soon were surrounded. 

 

Before Cassian could raise his blaster, Jyn was in the middle of the fray. He could feel his eyebrows high on his forehead and his mouth open as he watched her. She had  drawn a truncheons and began slamming them viciously into the joints of the stormtroopers armor. Her close quarter fighting preventing any blaster fire coming her way. She swung wildly but purposefully at the same time, using her whole body in her hits. It was beautiful in its own way. Within a minute she had incapacitated three of the troopers that had surrounded her. She whirled, raised her blaster and fired two, direct hits before pivoting and firing once more. 

 

There was a moment of stillness as they watched the K2 droid spark and fall. Cassian felt paralyzed for a moment before Kay walked up from behind the other droid.

 

“Did you know that wasn’t me?” said Kay. As usual there was no inflection in his voice, but one could definitely hear the accusation. 

 

Jyn started a moment longer before saying matter of factly, “Of course.” 

 

No one bought that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you guys like me writing Cassian's POV? It was a little difficult for me to write, I find Jyn much easier. But I kinda like hearing his side of things too. 
> 
> Let me know if you think I should stick to just Jyn's POV or if I should alternate.
> 
> I cannot wait to get to the point where Cassian knows about Jyn's powers because thats when the story stops following the cannon and I can stop reading the movie script to get the events, lines, and actions correct
> 
> Sorry if it's kinda sloppy. I'm doing this for fun so I didn't bother proofreading lol
> 
> \--Rose


	4. Chapter 3

**3.**

If it weren’t for her own empirical evidence that the Force existed she would have hardly believed the way the blind monk fought. It was graceful, taunting, like he knew when and where the ‘toopers would be before they did. It reminded her of old holodramas retelling Jedi legends.

 

" _Is that what he was? A Jedi? Is that how he knew?"_ she lingered on the thought.

 

_“Would you trade that necklace for a glimpse into your future? Yes, I’m talking to you, young Jedi.”  Jyn froze and tried to keep herself neutral even as she felt the blood rush from her face. She should leave. Cassian was elsewhere and somehow, someway this person new what she was. Escaping would have been the smart thing to do._

 

_She didn’t move._

 

_“How did you…” her question trailed off, she knew the answer. Or at least she thought she did. She gripped her mother's necklace, felt the thrumming of the force._

 

_“For that answer you must pay. I’m Chirrut Imwe,” he smiled at her. Something in his eyes, unseeing as they were, felt reverent. “What do you know of Kyber crystals?”_

 

_“My father, he said they powered the Jedi lightsabers.” True. But beyond that she knew that the one she carried was what powered her mother’s lightsaber once upon a time._

 

_What did this Chirrut want? He made no move towards her, said nothing. What was the point of this conversation? What was the point of him addressing her if he didn’t want anything from her? Was it just to unsettle her? Throw her off with his knowledge of what she was?_

 

_“Jyn. Come on, let’s go.”_

 

_Cassian’s voice came from behind her, startling her. She squeezed the crystal once tighter for a moment not sure what to do. What did Chirrut want?_

 

_“The strongest hearts are made of kyber.”_

 

_She felt the air sucked from her lungs. What did he mean? His milky blue gaze held her own, but he was looking deeper than her skin._

 

_Before she could respond Cassian gripped her attention. He urged her once again_

 

_“Come on!”_

 

_She ran._

 

Chirrut cut through the ‘toopers easily but the fight was finished off by his companion-- Baze.

 

“You nearly shot me!” Chirrut chastised his friend.

 

“You’re welcome,” Baze returned dryly. His voice was gruff and annoyed, but his posture was relaxed. Like battles were as natural as shopping at a market.

 

 afterwards they were confronted with Saw’s rebels; unfortunately dragged into this mess. All Jyn wanted was to get this over with. She was tired, cold, and had some badly bruised ribs from the butt of a blaster that had slammed into her. She tried to ignore it. Cassian hovering by her shoulder had her convinced he had noticed.  All she wanted was to be done.

 

Saw’s people were predictably hostile, surrounding them at blaster point. All of them looked on with disgust, their dusty scarves and helmets obscuring their faces but for the glimpse of eyes or a mouth, angry and resentful. She was thankful they thought to send Kay-2 back to the ship.

 

With a tilt of her chin Jyn invoked her connection to both Saw Gerrera and her father with pride that had once existed many years ago.

 

It stopped them killing her and her company but it didn’t stop the wrist binders and the dirty sacks covering their heads. It smelled of someone else’s sweat and faintly of some rooty musk. It was hard to breathe as they marched them to their base. Her chest ached from her bruises, from the frigid air, and from the small jabs she got from their captors. She tried to identify her companions by their breathing, but that proved futile.

 

She felt them enter a the base. The wind blocked and muted by the walls around her and the sounds of Saw Gerrera’s rebellion she had been so familiar with six years ago assaulted her ears. Someone was swearing over a game of sabacc, the sound of teenagers putting mines together made her fingertips ache with phantom pain.

 

“Take the woman. Hold the others,” said one of her captors. She heard a scuffling as she was pushed forward. Like someone trying to start a fight they were bound to lose.

 

“Jyn!”  It was Cassian. He almost sounded concerned as she was dragged away.

 

She was herded down a hallway that she assumed was dimly lit based on the lack of light leaking through the fabric of the sack covering her. Her nerves jumped every time she felt a blaster barrel nudge her low back, climbing to settle in her throat so every time she breathed it felt thick and rattling.

 

There was regret growing in her mind the closer to Saw she got. Prison was a hopeless place but to be faced with the man who abandoned her at sixteen after devoting her whole life to his cause -- who made her stamp out her true identity until is was a small glowing ember buried so deep it nearly went out -- was something beyond hopelessness.

 

It was too late now. She was pushed into a room, the sack torn from her head so forcefully she felt some hair torn with it. But suddenly, there he was.

 

Saw Gerrera.

 

He was different. Where once stood the pillar of ruthless strength, stood a man graying and broken. Still ruthless beneath the sorrowful gaze she remembered from long ago. He never lost that. As though he were a fallen war god, his essence was still there even when his power was failing. He breathed bottled oxygen now, rattling and whistling in and out; both legs were machines so crudely put together that he still had to use a staff to hold himself upright.

 

Was it because the sorry state of this person she once knew she felt lost? She wanted to feel the anger that up until that moment felt like a fuse burning steadily only to be cut off just before reaching the explosive. Instead she felt lost. If she couldn’t be angry at him than what was the point of six years of resentment?

 

When he says her name, like she had been lost to him, she feels bitter. Some of the resentment lingers. When he asks;

 

“Are we not still friends?”

 

She answers, hoping he regrets and the hurt she feels whips around to him. “The last time I saw you, you gave me a knife and loaded blaster and told me to wait in a bunker until daylight.”

 

“I knew you were safe.”

 

She wants to scream at him that she was never safe. That at sixteen she had been abandoned by everyone she had ever loved, had power she hardly knew how to control, and the only skills she had were dangerous and illegal. She wanted to scream at him that she had only survived because of luck or the Force carrying her through because she got all the darkness to balance the light that someone in the galaxy must be living in.

 

“You left me behind,” is all she manages. She struggles to keep her voice level and her breathing gets harder, more painful against her bruises.

 

“You were already the best soldier in my cadre,” he said, as though that made it justifiable. His voice was rising. Before she would have known to stop, his words law to her.

 

The air around her moves violently for a moment before she breathes focusing on smoothing the current of the roiling around her. Whatever argument she would have made cut off.

 

“This is why I left you behind, Jyn,” his voice was low, hard, not unkind but with no remorse either. “You were the daughter of an Imperial Science officer and a Force user without control. People were figuring it out. People wanted to use you against me. And with this timing... the Imperial pilot. Tell me Jyn. Are you here to kill me?”

 

He stared at her. His dark eyes fearless yet disappointed. She felt that disappointment like a physical blow. And she hated herself for it. That after everything she wished for his pride.

 

“The Alliance wants my father. They think he's sent you a message about a weapon. I guess they think by sending me you might actually help them out,” she ignores the pointed look when she mentions the Alliance. She doesn’t care. Says as much when he asks her about the cause.

 

How can he think she cares about a cause that has done nothing but break her life apart again, and again? No matter the name or planet, the Rebellion follows her like a murder of crows ready to pick her apart.

 

If she keeps her head down and ignores the atrocities, the Empire ignores her.

 

Saw watches her for a moment longer.

 

“Come, I must show you something.”

 

* * *

 

He felt the earth move a second before the door burst open. It would have been a stroke of luck if he hadn’t just picked the lock anyway. Now though he worried about what had caused such an explosion.

 

Cassian quickly moved over to the table where his commlink and blaster rested and immediately commed Kay.

 

“Kay? Kay-tu, where are you?” the blood was pulsing in his veins sending adrenaline to his limbs. He heard the others behind him moving, gathering the pilot, Bohdi for escape. He barely heard himself as he spoke to K2-SO, but one thing stuck.

 

“There is no horizon.”

 

“Locate our position. Bring that ship in here now!” he franticly spoke into his comm as he started moving down a hallway. The structure shaking and crumbling around him.

 

“Where are you going?” Chirrut asked, his good humor gone. His home was being vaporized even as he asked the question. For a moment, Cassian wondered if Chirrut could feel it with the Force.

 

“I’m going to find Jyn.” Why? He didn’t know. She got him what he needed. To try and save her was reckless, but Cassian’s mind seemed incapable of more than a brief acknowledgement that.

 

He ran down the hallway, all his energy focused on finding her that when he did it took him a second to comprehend the sight of her on her knees, clearly in a state of pure shock. For a moment his thoughts jumped to the state Bohdi had been reduced too and fear clawed it’s way through his adrenaline haze. What did they do to her? He almost didn’t notice Saw Gerrera behind her.

 

Once again he heard himself call her name to drag her from some deep part of herself.

 

“Jyn! We’ve got to go,” he tried to be gentle as he took her arm and pulled her up. Whatever happened could be dealt with later, when she was safe.

 

She snapped out of it long enough to speak to Saw, to futilely convince him to come with them. The man only stared at her, like she was the sun before speaking one last time.

 

“Save the Rebellion!

 

Save the dream!”

 

Something in her eyes broke then and Cassian dragged her away, the cavernous base collapsing around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's this scene in my head that basically got this whole story going and I am getting so close to that part of the story. I hope it turns out as rad for you guys as it does in my head. Also, since that's where the story really diverges from the Canon, I think it'll be a lot easier to write. Currently it's such a pain to write these scenes out because I feel like I'm just rewriting the script. Ya feel me? 
> 
> Anywhooo,  
> Smell ya later,  
> Rose


	5. Chapter 4

**4.**

 

The haunted look in Jyn’s eyes would be burned into his memory forever. The look on her face pressed like a weight in his thoughts as he set course for Eadu. Her whitened, shocked, broken expression and her widened, tear hazed, green eyes seared him raw when he let his orders linger too long in the front of his mind.

 

_ “We have to kill Galen Erso while we have the chance.” Draven’s words over the ship’s comm made it feel like the air around Cassian became denser. Harder to suck in and filter through his lungs.  _

 

He wanted to be angry at her for forgetting to take the hologram. Such a simple thing could have made his mission a retrieval instead of an assassination; but all he could do is hate himself for having to be the one to snuff out that spark of hope that had finally rekindled in her eyes. He hated himself for being the one that was going to orphan her once again. He knew he was a murderer. He had killed many fathers, mothers, daughters, sons; they all followed him like ghosts. But, Jyn already haunted him. Her gaze charred away his rationale and he found himself considering her before taking any action.

 

_ For the greater good. For the greater good,  _ he repeated to himself. It never assuaged him of his guilt but he never felt shame. This time though, there was a voice surfacing from the depths of his mind.

 

_ How is this the greater good? How is leaving people hopeless and broken better? _

 

The council would never believe her. The idea that an Imperial officer would booby trap a weapon of such scale was a pollyanna idea, even from someone they would deem credible. If they had the message, well, that might make a rescue necessary. 

 

He listened to the low murmuring from the hold behind him. Listened to Jyn calm Bodhi as he stuttered. She asked him questions, tried to draw him away from his subconscious rambling.

 

“Tell me five things you see Bodhi.” 

 

There was a mumbling answer.

 

“Good, good. Ok, Bodhi. Tell me 4 things you hear.”

 

He listened to the Guardians comfort one another’s broken hearts from losing their home. Their grief a quiet murmur between the two, occasionally punctuated with a soft sob or a verse or two of an old hymn. 

 

Loss weighed heavy on them all. 

 

He noticed, that no one comforted Jyn. 

 

 

The lights on the dashboard flickered. 

 

Probably just damage from jumping to hyperspace from atmo.

 

 

* * *

 

Breaking atmosphere on Eadu was a special kind of elemental chaos. Rain beat down in sheets causing near blindness through the viewpoint and the wind pushed the ship to and fro, making Jyn to brace herself against the back of Cassian’s seat. Bodhi sat crouched between the pilot’s seat and he copilot’s seat giving panicked instructions to Kay-tu.

 

Her heart was hammering in her chest. 

 

_ Papa _ was down there. In whatever form he had taken in the years that separated them, her  _ Papa _ was here. She just had to get to him. She had to survive one thing at a time to see him again. Starting with this treacherous landing.

 

_ Breathe, just breathe,  _ she told herself focusing on taming the swirling, undulating of the Force around her and ignoring Kay, Cassian, and Bodhi as they argued loudly about how to approach the kyber refinery. 

 

Cassian yelled loudly enough for Chirrut and Baze to hear in the back, “Hold on tight!” and all at once the ship jerked to a halt. Bodhi was knocked back, Jyn managed to stay standing with her grip on the seat. 

 

There was silence for a long minute, broken only by the sound of rain pounding on the viewpoint and hull. The resounding  _ plink, plink, plink  _ echoed all around them. She could see distant lights from the structure it’s edges indistinguishable from the rain and rock but the lights shone white, catching on the droplets. 

 

They all moved back to the cargo hold. Kay was giving a diagnosis of the ship as Cassian started putting on his gear. 

 

“Our communication with the Alliance is dead. The ship’s sublight engines have experienced damage too severe to fix without access to spare parts,” said Kay, his luminous eyes stared at Cassian expectantly. 

 

“Kay, get the comms up.  Bodhi, where's the lab?” He asked briskly. Jyn could tell he was coming up with a plan as he went. He fixed the hood of his coat before moving on the the belt. 

 

“The research facility?” If it were anyone else in any other situation, Jyn would have growled at the redundancy but, she knew the effectiveness of Saw’s interrogation. The flinching stuttering man she had steadied with a hand to the shoulder and whispered words, just hours before was doing his best. She could admire Bodhi, he held on to himself better than most.

 

“Yeah, It's just over the ridge.”   


 

“ And that's a shuttle depot straight ahead of us?” Bodhi nodded at this. “You are sure of that?”

 

There was something about Cassian that Jyn was beginning to notice. She had felt the Force around him before in brief moments but, in this moment it felt despairingly heavy. Like storm clouds hanging around him. A reluctant darkness. She didn’t know what it meant. Did he think this was hopeless?   


 

“Yes,” replied Bodhi.   


 

“We'll have to hope there's still an Imperial ship left to steal,” sighed Cassian, his breath huffed like the darkness surrounding him had physical weight. “Here's what we're doing. Hopefully, the storm keeps up and keeps us hidden down here. Bodhi, you're coming with me. We'll go up the ridge and check it out.”

 

That jerked her out of her thoughts. He couldn’t leave her on the ship. She stepped forward, face as stormy as the weather surrounding them.  “I'm coming with you.”   


 

“No, your father's message, we can't risk it. You're the messenger,” it was a weak excuse and he knew it too by the look in his eyes. There was a streak of fear and sadness that he couldn’t hide from his frustrated, furrowed brow. She noticed that he used his spy face when he was anxious or upset. It was surprisingly telling.   


 

“That's ridiculous. We all got the message. Everyone here knows it,” she challenged him. The knowledge she was right blazed fire from her chest to her fingertips. She took a deep breathe.  _ Control, Jyn. Control. _   


 

“One blast to the reactor module and the whole system goes down. That's how you said it. The whole system goes down,” intoned Kay in the most flat way she could imagine in this situation.    


 

“Get to work fixing our comms!” Cassian growled to his droid. Anger, frustration, coloring his voice as he turned to glare at Kay.  “All I want to do right now is get a handle on what we're up against. So, we're going to go very small and very carefully up the rise and see what's what.” With that he stomped out of the ship. Bodhi hot on his heels as he threw a poncho over his head.   


 

She watched them go with frustration building in her gut. 

 

Across the hold, Chirrut sits with his blind eyes troubled.  “Does he look like a killer?” He asks Baze.    


 

“No. He has the face of a friend,” Baze’s voice was a soft growl as he turned from the open ramp to look at Chirrut. His body large and tense like it expected battle with every breath.   


 

“Who are you talking about?” Her curiosity building along with her dread.    


 

“Captain Andor.”    


 

“Why do you ask that? What do you mean, ‘does he look like a killer?’” She had to steady her breathing once again. Had to ignore the pointed, knowing look Chirrut gave her as she steadied the Force.

 

She has had to focus her breathing more in the last few days than she has had to in months. 

 

“The Force moves darkly near a creature that's about to kill,” he said to her softly. “You felt it too.”   


 

“His weapon was in the sniper configuration,” Baze said bluntly with a roll of his eyes at Chirrut’s mention of the Force.

 

Her body quaked for a moment. She had never trusted Cassian. Not really, yet she couldn’t help the sickening sense of betrayal that she was so intimate with. She had noticed the churning of the Force around him; hadn’t known what it meant, hadn’t wanted to know what it meant. Anger and hopelessness wrapped around her even as she scrambled to the ramp, flinging on a poncho and helmet.

 

Chirrut called after her, and she paused, tilted her ear towards him. “There was light too, young Jedi. He is struggling with both.”

 

He was right. Cassian, always had both sides of the Force prying at him. She could feel the struggle, the want to do good rolling off of him and could see the resigned slump of his shoulders before they left, when he thought she wasn’t watching.  She closed her eyes and pushed away the anger as far as she could. She clutched the kybar necklace briefly and prayed that, for once, she wouldn’t be betrayed. 

 

The anger was still there and she wouldn’t trust her faith in the Force alone to save her father, so she continued on with determination and a small hope flickering in her chest that Cassian wouldn’t let her down.

 

 

*  *  *

 

 

He sends Bodhi away to find a ship to escape in once he’s identified Galen Erso through the macrospecs. The entire way up Bodhi rambled stories about Galen, about his sad kindness, about the lost look in his eyes when he mentioned Jyn or Lyra in passing. It made Cassian irritable, made the growing pit in his stomach clench painfully.  He was glad when Bodhi left. So no one could witness him shooting an innocent man.  

 

Cassian stared through his scope.  _ Just squeeze the trigger. You’ve done it hundreds of times before.  _ Sad, broken green eyes flashed in his mind and his breath hitched. Galen had looked up briefly. Enough for Cassian to see his eyes. The same vacant eyes that stared into the space where a hologram used to play. The same eyes Jyn had when Saw stayed behind to die. The same eyes had Jyn realized the little girl she saved on Jedah didn’t make it off the planet. 

 

He dropped his rifle. 

 

The breath in his lungs left him all at once and he collapsed his head to the wet boulder. His hands shook with giddy relief as he took greedy breaths, feeling like his chest could finally fully expand since leaving Yavin IV. 

 

The decision he made would mean disregarding orders. Something he had never done before, but it felt more right than any orders he had ever followed. He would save someone today. He would bring a broken family back together. He would do  _ good.  _

 

After giving himself a moment he looked up to watch. To plan. He watched the engineers as a man in white stepped out of a shuttle and spoke to Galen. It struck, suddenly, how odd this situation was. Why would they be all outside to meet the man in white at this time of night? With stormtroopers behind them and black deathtroopers in front of them? 

 

He saw the black armored men raise their blaster rifles too the men in labcoats. Cassian’s breath caught. Just as he decided to do the save Galen the Empire decides he’s got to go.

 

Galen Erso’s face went white and with a shout Cassian did not hear, he rushed to stand in front of the other engineers. There was a still moment on the platform. Cassian took the moment to scan the area, taking stock of the situation. 

 

How many ‘toopers were on the platform, what sort of weaponry, avenues of entry and escape? There had to be something he could do. 

 

The sound of blasterfire cut through the pounding rain. Cassian’s heart jumped to his throat. The engineers fell around Galen as he sank to his knees. His eyes closed in anguish. 

 

A white stormtrooper close to the edge of the platform caught Cassian’s attention as he suddenly got dragged off the platform. He nearly choked when he saw Jyn pull herself up and crouch low behind a crate. Her gaze was intense, fixed on the silhouette of her father and the man in white who now stood over him with a blaster to his head.

 

“Shit,” he cursed himself. While he’s been up here, Jyn was planning on getting herself killed. 

 

“Cassian, can you hear me?” Kay’s voice crackled through the comlink. Kriff, the droids timing. 

 

“I'm here. You got it working?” Cassian scrambled to his feet and began his ill advised run down to the platform. He nearly forgot about communication with the Alliance.

 

“Affirmative yes, although we have a problem! There's an Alliance squadron approaching. Clear the area!”

 

He was halfway to the platform at Kay-tu’s announcement. His legs stuttered with visceral panic that shot through him. 

 

“No. No, no, no! Tell them to hold up! Jyn's on that platform!” He practically screamed into the comlink. But he knew it was too late, he could practically hear the whine of X-Wings approaching. He ran faster than advisable on the slick surface of the rocks. Nothing could be done about the X-Wings but there was still a chance. He couldn’t be late. He couldn’t. 

 

In horror, he watched as the first wave of fire land on the deck, knocking back the figures standing there. His heart stopped. Actually stopped, when he heard Jyn cry out.

 

“PAPA!” she screamed. All eyes turned towards her half crouched form. Screaming TIE’s exiting the hanger, nearly drowning her voice. It was chaos. Loud blaster fire and explosions everywhere. More than Cassian could count in the span of seconds following her desperate cry.

 

She suddenly turned around her face going slack in horror as she turned her eyes upward. Cassian glanced at what caught her attention, even as he ran in zigs zags towards the Ersos. He caught a glimpse of an X-Wing charging a Ion Torpedo. He saw it fire as he tackled Galen, sliding them a fair distance away from the man in white and covering his head from the ion’s explosion. His heart hammered in dread, praying that Jyn had gotten cover.

 

It took him longer than it should have to realize that something was wrong. The platform was still loud. The whines from the battle above, deafening and the crash of ships as they were hit unmistakable. 

 

There was no shock wave. No singular boom to drown out the rest and leave his ears ringing. 

 

Cassian looked up at Galen first. The man was staring with his mouth open at something in front of them mumbling to himself  _ “Force no. No, no, no _ .” The next thing he saw was Jyn. 

 

She stood, her legs apart in a deep, strained lunge. Her legs quivered and her back strained. One hand clutched near her breast, her other arm flung out in front of her, her hand outstretched and open and shaking like the rest of her. 

 

 

He followed the line of her outstretched arm and felt the world go silent.

 

 

 

The Ion Torpedo hovered motionless in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How'd I do? Was the reveal good? bad? should I rewrite this?


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read and Review! Let me know what you think.

**5.**

 

The ran was thick and heavy drops hit her with almost bruising force as she hid behind the durasteel crates, watching the events on the landing deck unfold. The sight of her father standing  _ right there _ felt like it would take years to fully process as reality. Jyn had hated him -- convinced herself that she hated him-- for so long. But now, looking at his grief worn face, how could she hate him? The anger and betrayal she felt was still with her, but that was her father. Her Papa. No matter what he has done she wanted her family more than anything.

 

Her heart stuttered as she watched him sink to his knees, the water puddled around him as the Man in White raised his blaster to her father’s forehead. In her awed state she had forgotten about the monster that haunted her nightmares, but now he stood front and center on a clear stage once more.

 

The whine of starfighters reached her ears as well as bolts of read energy falling on the platform.

 

All reason fled Jyn’s mind and she flew forward with a wild cry; “ _ PAPA!” _

 

She felt the eyes of so many turn her way. Imagined she felt the eyes of the dead scientists watching her. In the end she saw none of it as her father’s astonished gaze met hers. For a second that’s all that mattered. For a second that’s all there was.

 

It ended quickly. There was a sharp, prickling sensation that crawled up her spine that had nothing to do with the icy rain creeping down her back. She turned, against her better judgment, letting her back face her enemy, and came face to face with the pulsing white of a charging Ion torpedo rocketing itself towards the platform.

 

In her fear, her hand flew up and her eyes shut. She felt a weight slam into her making her step back to brace herself. With her eyes sliding open she looked up at the deadly Ion beam, watched it vibrate as well as felt it in her bones. Just like when she was a child floating blocks it became harder the more she tried to control it. Once the initial reflex was acted out she struggled to breathe. The pressure was intense, like she was being crushed on all sides, but she held on. Her knees quivered and bent. 

 

She curled her fist, breathed as deeply as she could and jerked her fist to the side, opening her palm at the last second. The beam flung into the research building. Her lungs expanded finally, maybe too suddenly, as black dots filled her vision. 

 

She didn’t have long to gather herself when she felt something sharp and hot slam once more into her back and she collapsed forward. Her vision tunnelled and warped into black almost too quickly for her to hear someone scream her name.

 

 

*  *  *

 

 

Cassian was finally shook from his stupor the moment a blaster bolt caught the swaying Jyn in the center of her back. Her descent down was unimpeded and graceless, falling like a sack of root vegetables. He found himself on his feet before Galen finished yelling the syllable of her name.   

 

He looked around, letting his vision take stock of what he had previously ignored. Most of the platform was evacuating quickly but he saw the man in white speak to two of the black deathtrooper before absconding with the rest of his entourage. 

 

For the uptienth time that day Cassian was at a loss for what to do. The troopers had split up. One marched it’s way towards them and the other towards Jyn. In his mad dive to save Galen, he’s lost his blaster and now he was paying for that carelessness. He would never reach her in time. 

 

With gritted teeth he hauled Galen Erso up by the arm. “Come on. We’ve got to go! We’ve got to go!” He started to lead them away at a crouch, trying to cover Galen as well as he could from the blaster fire behind crates. He snagged a blaster out of the hand of a dead stormtrooper and laid down cover fire. “Get to that ridge! I’ll cover you!”

 

“I’m not leaving Jyn!” Erso yelled over the blasts going on around him. His hair hung in his eyes and water dripped from his nose and chin, but his gaze was determined the same way his daughter’s was. 

 

Cassian glanced at where Jyn had fallen. He had stopped himself before, but now he couldn’t help it. She was being carried away by the black monstrosity, her arms hung limply. He’d never seen her so boneless. Even when she was asleep on the way to Jedha tension coiled in her limbs, ready to defend herself. 

 

He swore in a tongue he hadn’t uttered in years and looked back at their escape route. He didn’t want to leave her. 

 

“I’ll do what I can, but I need you to go. Now!” 

 

Galen nodded and ran. When he reached the ridge, Cassian turned his attention to Jyn. The trooper had almost reached a transport but, before Cassian could do anything the trooper was shot down. Jyn tumbled to the ground out of the troopers arms.

 

Baze emerged from behind a crate. He made eye contact with Cassian jerked his head towards Jyn firing at troopers and TIE’s alike. 

 

Cassian ran to them. He didn’t waste time checking Jyn’s condition before slinging her over his shoulder. “Let’s go!” He stayed behind Baze the best he could, clenching his jaw tight as he focused on his footing on the slick stone, and gripping Jyn’s legs tightly. They caught up to Galen who didn’t go farther than the ridge and continued near aimlessly until he spotted Kay-tu on the ramp of a transport ship. 

 

Chirrut came up alongside Baze down from a crest of rocks, a bowcaster in one hand and his staff in the other.

 

The ramp hadn’t even shut fully before they were in the air, fighting against the rain and wind.

 

Cassian pushed himself to the back of the hold and gently lowered Jyn onto a durasteel bench. He kneeled next to her to check her over for injuries. Her forehead was bleeding from where she fell, and so was her nose, and her cheekbone was swelling up. The trooper had only stunned her, to his relief, but he felt sure that there were more injuries; perhaps from Jedha, perhaps from Waboni, and maybe even from the rebels themselves. 

 

It took him a moment to realize that Galen was kneeling next to him, his gaze fixated on his daughter. It struck Cassian just then that this man had not seen his daughter for fifthteen years. Was he trying to reconcile the images of his sweet eight year old child with this jaded and battle weary young woman? Or was he just in awe of being with her once again?   

 

There were obvious questions that had to be asked, but Cassian stayed silent as he smoothed bandages to Jyn’s wounds, wishing for a little bacta. They’d be at Yavin soon enough for that. Once he was done he dropped his hand down to her wrist to measure her pulse and opened his mouth and softly asked Galen cursory questions, filing away the answers for his report back to command. He confirmed what Jyn had told them the message said. 

 

“Are you going to ask?” Galen said, eyes flickering to Cassian briefly before returning to Jyn. “About what happened.” 

 

Cassian shut his eyes, the sight of Jyn on the platform seared into his memory. When he opened them he glanced back at Chirrut and Baze. Chirrut was praying with a content smile on his face and Baze for once did not have his usual longsuffering expression on his face when Chirrut prayed. 

 

Cassian wondered if he was reevaluating his disbelief. He knew  _ he _ was.

 

“No,” he answered, eyes back on Jyn. “No. That is something I’ll ask her when she is awake.” 

 

Galen had nothing to say to that. But after a long moment her asked one more question.

 

“What is my daughter to you?”

 

Cassian opened his mouth to answer, but promptly shut it again, unsure. He looked back at Jyn to discover he still had her wrist in his hand, and had somehow adjusted his grip to hold her hand in his. 

 

He let go abruptly. 

 

He wanted to tell Galen that she was nothing, his mission only. But, he realized that that wasn’t true. She had served her purpose getting him to Saw, getting him Bodhi. He had no reason for his concern, she had outlived her intended purpose and actively prompted deviation from his mission objectives. From a certain standpoint there had been moments where she was more useful dead or left behind.

 

Somehow that didn’t matter, she had to be alive, safe. In his sights, and he had no idea why. 

 

So, despite everything, he answered honestly.

 

“I don’t know.” 


	7. Chapter 6

**6.**

 

The sounds of hushed voices, medical droids, and the general vim of a medbay roused Jyn from from sleep into a foggy state of wakefulness. Her eyes casted around the room, taking in the hubbub; her tired mind recognised the lack of Imperial gray, which simultaneously gives her a sense of dread and relief. As her faculties improve, she turns to a chrome medical droid that she realized was trying to speak with her.

 

“Ms. Erso, how are you feeling? You’ve been asleep for approximately 17 hours.”

 

It’s modulated voice and question alerted her to the rest of her body. It felt like she had won a drinking game against a Wookie and celebrated with a bottle of Corellian dry red. 

 

She shook her head, _no,_ _bad idea._ Red hot nails were rocking around in her skull.

 

“Not good.” It came out more of a pained whimper than words.

 

The droid nodded and fiddled with a dial next to the bed. “I’m increasing the pain medication for the time being. You’ve suffered many injuries, Ms Erso. It’s not surprising if you’ll need to be on regular pain management medication for a while.” 

 

A moment later a warm numbness spread throughout her limbs like it was being drained from her mind into her body, leaving her more clear headed than before. She clearly knew now that she was back on Yavin, that they surely knew her secret now. How she reached the Yavin medical station she didn’t knew. She couldn’t remember past the staggering relief and the sharp pain from behind; and vaguely the sound of voices calling her name. 

 

Did Cassian make it? Did the others? 

 

Someone had to have made it for her to be here now. 

 

Her father’s eyes flashed in her mind. His form kneeling in front of the monster that haunted her nightmares, a blaster pointed at his head.

 

Did he make it? Was he alive as well? Cassian never made the shot. She stalled the Man in White. She stopped the torpedo. He had to be alive right? 

 

Jyn could barely hear the med droid telling her to calm down, that her heart rate was too high, before it started sputtering and sparking. Thoughts of her father left behind, dead eyes open in the rain, circled her fatigued mind. If she failed, if he died after all, if she had been orphaned again, this time no one could shield her. She will have broken whatever little protection she had left for the failed hope of having her father back. She’d be used, even unwillingly. Her very being considered a weapon against a colossal enemy she didn’t know how to fight. 

 

She didn’t know how long she had sat in that state. Minutes, or hours, it didn’t matter. The presence of warm hands on her shoulder and cheek startled out of her head enough for Cassian’s face to register in her mind. She felt herself still, a jarring sensation when one didn’t even know that they had been trembling in the first place. 

 

“Jyn? Can you hear me?” he asked, apparently not for the first time. His face was openly concerned. It was such an honest expression that Jyn found it hard to navigate her words. So, she nodded.  

 

He sighed in relief, his hand that held her cheek slipped down to her shoulder, leaving a conspicuously warm trail down the nape of her neck where he passed. “Thank the Force.” 

 

He watched her as she gathered her thoughts. Organizing them into a manageable order in a few deep breathes. The sparking from the droid stopped, and the machines around her ceased their flickering. She watched him glance at the equipment too, an expression of sudden understanding on his face. Like he had made a connection to something he previously overlooked. 

 

She knew that he knew about her Force sensitivity. Anyone on that platform would know, would have seen her stop an energy bolt midair. 

 

She suddenly felt bare in front of Cassian. 

 

“The others?” she asked, her voice soft, unusually timid.

 

“They’re fine. I would have had Baze or Churrit come with me but they don’t have clearance yet, Bodhi is undergoing a psych evaluation, and your father is undergoing questioning.”

 

It felt like her heart stopped with her breath. Her mind went blank as she stared at Cassian. His face was still open and the Force around him was brighter than she had ever seen it. 

 

“My father? He’s here, he’s alive?” Cassian stopped talking for a moment, whatever he had said lost to her. He just looked at her and smiled, surprising her with a show of dimples, and nodded.   

 

He had saved her father. He didn’t kill him. He hadn’t betrayed the trust she had unwittingly given him. In that moment, Cassian became one of the dearest and most dangerous people Jyn had ever met. 

 

Impulsively she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his ribcage, tucking her face into his neck, poorly hiding her wet eyes.

 

_ Trust the Force _

 

For once the echo of her mother’s voice didn’t seem bitter.

 

“Thank you, Cassian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile guys. Sorry about that. I tend to write very sporadically as things come to me. 
> 
> Also sorry that it's so short, I was trying to figure out a way to make it longer (even though about adding Cassian's POV of the scene in here) but it kind of came to it's natural end and I didn't want to force it. I thought the ending had a nice feeling to it, much more romantic than I intended at this point in the story.
> 
> What do you think? Does this seem out of character for them or do you think if Cassian had managed to save Galen this would have been an appropriate behavior change?


End file.
